A divorce is never going to be pleasant for anyone involved. It’s a difficult, stressful time for each half of the couple and the rest of the family, but this doesn’t mean it has to be made any harder than absolutely necessary by bickering and disagreements. It is far easier for everyone involved if there is no animosity and both parties can behave in a civilised manner. So, how can you make sure your divorce runs as smoothly as possible?
Ideally, you will have a prenuptial agreement which the pair of you agreed to before the marriage setting out what would happen in the event of divorce, but lots of people prefer not to make these, considering them to be unromantic or a pessimistic way to approach the marriage. However, in reality they are a practical way to prepare for the future. It’s not saying that you will get divorced, but anything could happen, and it offers protection for both partners.
You will need to get a matrimonial valuation from a chartered surveyor. Some couples decide to get individual valuations for their own purposes, but it is much quicker and easier to get an accountant between you to make the decision about what your home and possessions are worth. It will then be decided who should get what, which can take a lot longer if you have two separate accountants assessing your possessions.
It is also possible to get relationship counselling for this difficult stage of marriage. This doesn’t have to be about salvaging the marriage or any form of reconciliation, but it can help to provide both parties with closure. If there are children involved, it can be helpful for them to come along for a family session to iron out any questions they might have and to reassure them that everything will be OK for them.
Try not to be petty or abrasive when dealing with your soon to be ex-partner once they have moved out. Don’t make it difficult for them to see the children or to come and collect their things, as this will only prolong the healing process and make it harder for you to move on. Being embroiled in a bitter row with an ex is off-putting for any potential love interests on the horizon, so make sure you are always polite and civil. Over time, it may even be possible to be friends with your ex spouse again, as long as you approach the situation like adults in a mature manner.
About the author:
Cathy Stucker is a blogger who recently went through a divorce and offers her advice to those currently suffering with the breakdown of a marriage